We're celebrating anyway
In some schools, parents outdo each other with treats. Even - or perhaps especially - if they don't have too much at home. Sometimes the celebration at school is a child's only birthday party.
Shaundell has just been to the store, in the Bijlmer (Amsterdam-Zuidoost). Her daughter turns five on Wednesday and then she can treat herself at school. “I wanted to give the children a coloring book, but in the end I decided to do a bag of chips. At this school you can only give one thing, I think that's really terrible. I was always used to giving cookies or a pasty with a drink. Because we don't do a children's party at home and then you celebrate it through the treat at school anyway. Especially now that she is five years old. Every five years you like to unpack extra. Three years ago we celebrated her birthday in church. We then cooked extensively and there was drinks and cake. But because of my health, I haven't been to church in a while.”
Sometimes there is competition, no one wants to be inferior with, for example, just a box of raisins
“We saw the treats get bigger and bigger over the years,” says Rens van Hulst, Health & Lifestyle advisor at GGD Amsterdam. He was involved in a healthy weight program in which approximately 140 primary schools in Amsterdam participated. “The treat was often the last part of a healthy food policy that schools burned their fingers on,” says Van Hulst. “Sometimes there was competition between parents, no one wanted to be inferior with just a box of raisins, for example. Most schools now allow one product to be treated.”
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Shaundell: “Some parents say they are happy that there is only one treat left. They say: It's good for your wallet and it saves a lot of hassle. But most parents think it's a shame. A mother had made bags with popcorn, candies, a pack of drinks and fruit for each child. The teacher was not allowed to hand it out. Then the mother herself gave it to the children after school. Some parents would like shine with the treat. No, that's not important to me. I've always stood by my own choices, I'm not going to compete or give things I can't afford.”
Really birthday
At Charissa's school, a neighborhood away, small and healthy treats are also encouraged. But many parents still want to unpack. Charissa's son had a treat for his sixth birthday last month. She bought an exercise book and a pack of markers for all his classmates. “To stimulate them with math and the alphabet. And as for the healthy stuff, I have a breakfast biscuit and cheese dippers added and a bottle of water with a taste.” The children also received a bag of chips and a piece of cake. They also ate a cake at home, but otherwise they only celebrated his birthday at school. “I like that he could treat, was allowed to pass the classes and really felt like his birthday.”
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A 'treat guide' has been distributed at the school with ideas for responsible treats. "Some parents don't think that's festive or exuberant enough for a birthday," says teacher Muriel, involved in the treat policy. “At my previous school in Amsterdam Nieuw-West, treats were returned that were too large or unhealthy. Parents at that school talked a lot about treats among themselves. That doesn't happen at this school, as far as I know. Treats are never returned here. Yes, some teachers also treat lavishly themselves. I think that could be less. We have had discussions about this within the team.”
Kids stay home on their birthday if parents can't afford a treat
Because of the significance of treats, birthdays can be stressful if there isn't enough money to cover the party. Especially now that everything is getting more expensive. Charissa: “I would do my best anyway. I would like to give something the children need. You know those things are expensive. Then I just buy it from Action or I start earlier, I always buy something small and it ends up being a nice treat.” What if kids stay home on their birthday because they can't afford a treat? “Yes, that is understandable. Instead of people looking down on you, you better not go to school. They don't know it's your birthday."
Extremely hard
“It's terrible when your child can't participate or even calls in sick on his birthday because he can't treat himself. That leads to exclusion. Children are often hard on each other,” says Annemiek Alberts, communication specialist at Stichting Jarige Job. “Parents wish their child a nice birthday. They want their child to be able to tell about presents and treats at school.”
The foundation distributes birthday boxes to children. Families registered with the Food Bank or Stichting Leergeld receive the box almost automatically. Social workers or parents can also apply for the box via Stichtingjaarsjob.nl in the event of poverty. “At least 46 boxes will be sent out this year and in the last quarter we see an increase of XNUMX percent in applications due to inflation,” says Alberts. "You can't imagine how bad it is to be in such a situation, when you're right."
Shaundell also received a package for her daughter. “With balloons, a coloring book, reading book, chocolate, Barbie and other things. We are very happy with it. When she comes home from school on her birthday, I'm going to make some dinner for her, my two sons and myself. That way we can still celebrate.”
Cap
Teacher Muriel: “There is a lot of poverty in the neighborhood where my school is located, although it differs per family. Children do not stay at home on their birthday, but sometimes come to school without a treat. Maybe mother didn't have time or not much money, that can happen, we say. But of course we celebrate the birthday with all the trimmings: the toddlers get a hat and in all classes the birthday boy can decorate a cake on the IWB and blow out candles and there is singing and the child can go around the classes with a card. That way there is real attention for the child.”
Rens van Hulst of the GGD: "Some schools have opted for non-edible treats or the birthday boy can choose a game during gym class or during the break." Charissa also thinks the latter is an idea. “If you do that from group 1, the children are used to it and they don't care if they don't treat themselves.”
