Help, my parents are teachers!
What is it like to work at the school where your own child walks around as a student? Teachers and students tell. "Daddy sent me away once."
Picture: Renate Beense
The Stienstra family is sitting at the kitchen table. It is Friday afternoon, school is out. What is meant by this: the workplace of Aleid (47) and Roelof (49) Stienstra and the learning place of Rian (15) and Elisa (13). Daughter Hiske (18) and son Jonne (19) took their final exams there.
Roelof was, in that respect, the pioneer: he was the first of the family to end up at the Altena College in Sleeuwijk, as a chemistry teacher. When Jonne went to high school, he was allowed to choose where he wanted to go. “We thought that was the most important,” says Roelof. "That it was his own choice."
Jonne chose the Altena because he felt more comfortable there. Roelof did not mind seeing his son at school. “It also made a difference that I teach in the senior years,” he says. “That would prevent me from getting him in class as a seventh grader. We said goodbye and went our own way. ”
We said our goodbyes and went our separate ways
The three girls in the family followed Jonne's lead, and Aleid moved from her workplace to another high school for the Altena four years ago. “I have thought about that carefully,” says Aleid. Her main concern: did the children want it? “I would only do it if they didn't mind. Roelof and I knew that we wouldn't bump into each other very much, I teach Dutch, the alphas and the beta's are fairly separated. That was also decisive. ”
Cozy
“It was always fun,” says Hiske. “Although it is really not the case that we all visited each other. I was just doing my thing with my friends. ” She chuckles. "Dad never saw me at school, he looks over you in the hallways and auditorium." Roelof: "Really?" Hiske: “Yes! You just ignored me! ”
Aleid likes that she not only sees her children bouncing around in those corridors, but also their friends. “I recently spoke to a friend who had no idea who her daughter was associating with. Seems such a shame. ”
A few times the Stienstra's taught one of their children. For example, Jonne Roelof had as a chemistry teacher - he once called him 'Mr Stienstra', that felt a bit strange - and Hiske was also taught by her father. “I just pretended he was a teacher like everyone else. I did not do more or less homework. And I didn't tell all of my classmates. It's not a secret, but neither is it big deal or so."
Nasty comments
“The coolest thing is that we can ride with them to school”, Rian grins. Elisa: "We also cycle together sometimes." Once at home, the entire school is discussed, Aleid says. At least: if it is not confidential. “Roelof and I are very strict about this: we do not share sensitive information about colleagues or students, nor our children the other way around. Although of course you sometimes get to hear what a teacher is like. For example, that it has little authority. But I don't get involved in that, I'm a mother at home. ”
Yes, of course you have a high grade, the test is at your home
Aleid also has the tests at school of the grades in which the children are. "I check them on my day off, when no one is home." The children will never look into their parents' school bags. “You just don't do that,” says Hiske. Although her classmates sometimes think differently. Elisa sometimes got 'nasty comments'. "Yes, of course you have a high grade, the test is at your home." What does she do then? Shrug her shoulders.
Rian also got a nasty sneer once. She had asked for the first two hours off because she wasn't feeling well. Then the teacher of that subject came to her: 'Just because you are a Stienstra does not mean that you can skip classes.' Rian: "I was really angry." Aleid: “And so do I. I would never address a student like that by last name. You are not a child of the teacher at school. I spoke to that colleague about that. ”
Bitch
Furthermore, the parent-child relationship between the Stienstra's senior and junior is hard to find at school. Rian recently ran into her father when she was strolling down the hall with a friend during recess. They were sent away by her father, Mr. Stienstra. "I would not have liked that with any student." Rian: “Yes, Dad, you like the rules. You are also known for that. ”
Roelof and Aleid are more likely to hear from their children how they are perceived and called by students. Hiske was walking down the hall once, and then she just heard that 'that one bitch of a Stienstra 'always gave too much homework. Aleid laughs. “But I also hear the nicknames of the other colleagues through the children. I can tell you: I'll get off well with bitch. ” Roelof's nickname is the Terminator. Laughter is heard at the table. Roelof had to have his eyes lasered and went to school with his sunglasses for a few weeks.
If there's anything, we'll hear it. Precisely because the lines are short
Colleagues are also aware of the fact that the Stienstras are not only teachers, but also older. If someone at school wants to quickly say something about one of the children during recess, that's fine. If it is something bigger, they make an appointment. Practical: the Stienstra's parents' evenings cannot attend, then they have to work themselves. "But if there is something, we hear it," says Aleid. "Precisely because the lines are short."
Roelof and Aleid think that is a great advantage. Is there something wrong with the child? You will hear or see it immediately. That does not mean that they are on top of everything. Roelof: "Homework is their own responsibility." Aleid: "I never watch unless the children ask." Hiske: "I've had tutoring from you once, Mom!" Aleid: "Because you wanted to."
Another unwritten rule is that the Stienstras take a step back when there are 'major problems' with their children. “One of the children once had a really bad fight. Then I can't start calling that mother as 'mother of', because she sees me as a teacher at the school anyway. Roelof and I let the mentor solve it. I found it difficult: sometimes you also want to take it up for your own child. But for the rest we can actually always switch between the parent hat and the teacher hat with great ease. ”
For the children it also has something safe, the idea that you are at school with your parents. “Especially when I was just walking around school,” says Elisa. Aleid nods and points to Hiske: “And once you felt so bad that you wanted to call in sick. Then you came to mama too. ” Or, um, Mrs. Stienstra.
