Falsely accused of sexual assault
Fifteen minutes of helping a frightened and intoxicated student turned the life of a young MBO teacher upside down for a year. His student accused him of sexual assault.
IMAGE: NINA MAISSOURADZE
A thumbs up is good news, a thumbs down is bad news. His wife is in court and will whatsapp him what the judge's verdict is. "I stayed in the car because I was afraid the girl and her father would be there." In March 2017, the young MBO teacher has been in tension for almost a year after a student accused him of sexual assault. Something he has strongly denied from minute one.
It takes a long time to wait for the court decision. “In the end my wife sends a thumbs up, I have been acquitted. She comes out, we jump into each other's arms and both break in the middle of the street. ” Tears come back to his eyes at the memory. “It touches me again. When things go wrong, I not only lose my job, my whole life was at stake. That's how it felt. The relief is great that the nightmare is over ”, he says with a deep sigh.
To my horror, I am given slippers and sent to a cell for the night
The nightmare started almost a year earlier during a working week in Portugal, where he is one of the supervisors of a group of MBO students. “The students have a free evening and a number of them go out. In the afternoon I sat on a terrace with colleagues and in the evening I went out to dinner with them. I had a maximum of five beers and was back at the hotel at half past eight. ”
Someone pounded on his door around XNUMX:XNUMX in the morning. "I didn't have a night watch and was already in bed." A girl is standing in front of the door. “She is in a panic and wants me to come right away. There's a boy in her room who doesn't want to leave. I think: There is something going on that I need to be immediately involved with. Without thinking about walking around in sleepwear, a T-shirt and boxer shorts, I went trot with her. I notice that she has been drinking, because she is hanging on the door of the room. ”
Complete madness
However, there is no boy in her room. “Her roommates are getting something to eat from a supermarket around the corner. She asks: Please stay in the room with me, otherwise the boy will come back. That is why the door should not remain open. ” Because the girl is under the influence, the teacher wants to continue to provide her care. “She is lying on her back on the bed with her phone in her hand. At one point she starts to vomit and I help her up. As soon as her roommates return, I said good night and left. ” And that boy? “That is a delusion afterwards. It turned out to be a friend of a roommate. ”
The next morning he sits quietly at the breakfast table when a shocked colleague calls to him. “She says that the girl accuses me of lying on the bed next to her, giving her a massage and touching her breasts. Is this true, my colleague wants to know. I am shocked, you are perplexed when you hear that. It's complete madness, I say. ”
Offer help
The teacher wants to go home. “I worked last night to offer help and now this. My team leader persuaded me to stay. Maybe she'll come around at the end of the day, he says. That will not happen. ”
The girl also stays in Portugal. “She didn't call her parents until a day later and didn't want to go home. I thought that was strange after what she said had happened. I can tell you she has made it quite a party week, ”he says with disgust.
After returning home, the management decided to suspend him for almost four weeks. "They believed me and were behind me, but wanted to prevent unrest with the suspension and limit the damage for me." His colleagues support him. “It cannot be true as we know you. Colleagues said the exact same thing could have happened to them. ” Pupils simply continue as usual. “They didn't believe her. He didn't and she is being punished, done. ”
He does not hear anything for months, nobody knows whether a report has been made. “During the summer holidays, the police call on him to come to the police station for questioning as a suspect. The interrogation ends at two in the afternoon. To my horror I am given slippers and transferred to a cell overnight. They do this so that you can no longer influence anyone and to make you think. Only the next afternoon do I finally hear what I am accused of: sexual assault. ”
Colleagues said that the exact same thing could have happened to them
He has often wondered why the student is doing this to him. “I didn't know her, never taught her. I think it's easier to accuse someone you don't know. ” The lawsuit shows that the girl is demanding 2500 euros in pain. He wonders, "In such a situation, is money your number one priority, or did it just all start with money?"
Just
The lawsuit ends well with an acquittal for the MBO teacher. Was he lucky? “No, I think it's fair, because I haven't done anything wrong. It would be crazy if I had lost my job. Teaching is what I prefer to do. I get along well with students and feel good as a teacher. I never thought that it could just be taken away from me. But I consider myself lucky with the good outcome. You regularly read that teachers who have been falsely accused and still lose their jobs. ”
He wants to share his story - anonymously, because he doesn't want to bring it up again - to help colleagues, prevent them from ending up in the same situation. “It would have taken away 90 percent of the story if I hadn't walked along in sleepwear. I didn't think about it for a moment and students didn't react to it either. In hindsight I should have called a colleague. But I was urgently asked for help, then you just offer it.”
I wanted a good relationship with my students and I acted jovially. That is not possible
He attributes it to the youthful enthusiasm of a young teacher. “You set an example and you have to keep your distance, that is stated in all books. But I wanted a good relationship with my students and was jovial. That is therefore not possible as a teacher. ” The school has changed the policy: drinking is no longer allowed during working weeks and excursions, neither for students, nor for teachers.
Wrestling
The event changed him as a teacher. “I no longer dare to enter into one-on-one situations with students. If they want to discuss a number or, for example, there is something wrong with their mother, I will now stand in the hallway. But a student often does not feel comfortable with that. " It is a dilemma for the teacher. “Our students have a lot of problems at home. I must and want to be there for them, but I cannot and cannot be there for them one-on-one. I struggle with that. This school year has to change. Perhaps the solution is to record the conversations. ”
Looking back, he says: “I gave a student help for fifteen to twenty minutes and in that time frame my whole world was turned upside down. Such an accusation hits you enormously. I have been walking around with it for almost a year. ” The verdict is liberating. “I have been acquitted, I have not done it. People know that, the story goes round. I can carry on with my life and continue teaching calmly. It is also a victory for education that I have not disappeared from the radar. ”
