Gender boxes get in the way
At most primary schools, boys have long been welcome in the doll corner and girls in the football cage. But gender neutral education is about much more than that. There is also a lot of implicit stereotyping in schools.
Picture: Nanne Meulendijks
Chris van Groeningen is not a teacher. Not a master either. But just: Chris. Hen is non-binary and explains this at the primary school in Amstelveen where she works. “It's fine for the students, they sometimes slip up and call me 'they' instead of 'them', but it's not an issue.” Actually - if Chris thinks about it - it's mainly some colleagues who have more trouble with it. Especially when Chris started an online petition to make schools more gender neutral, they were told: Is that necessary? “At my school they are quite progressive, no longer like: the dolls corner is for the girls and the blocks for the boys, but we still have to take some steps.”
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And according to Jan Jaap Hubbeek, this applies to many more (primary) schools. He worked as a teacher for years, is now an education administrator and made the podcast Genderwijs in which he looks into how schools deal with gender and sexuality. The reason was the child of a good friend of Hubeek, born as a girl but emotionally a boy. “I started looking at our education through his eyes and realized that we unconsciously make a lot of assumptions. I was shocked by that.” Now take the pee chain. The child Hubbeek is talking about had to make a choice every day. Do I go for the blue chain and the boys' toilet, or for the pink one? “The school had agreed that it could choose for itself. But the child was therefore busy every day. Where do I shower with gym? What do I sit with when the class is divided into a boy's side and a girl's side? What do I do when father-mother is played? This child remained stuck in those choices. Exhausting.”
What do I do when father-mother is played? This child remained stuck in those choices. Exhausting
According to Hubeek, education is often based on averages, “but there are so many nuances that deserve attention”. And that happens, but often in dribs and drabs. This year, the first primary school that openly presents itself as 'gender neutral' opened in Lent. “But that's the only one to my knowledge,” says Joyce Endendijk, a pedagogue at Utrecht University who researches gender development in children. “There are schools that are working on it and know how to do it, there are schools that are still looking for tools and there are schools that think it is nonsense.” Not everyone sees the benefit or necessity of gender-neutral education. This subject, Endendijk discovered, always elicits two kinds of reactions: the traditional camp wants nothing to do with it and sees it as a left-wing hobby, the pro-group ('which is growing') wants children to be able to develop in complete freedom without restrictive gender boxes.
(The article continues below the illustration)
Picture: Nanne Meulendijks
Play together
Which camp is right? According to Endendijk, there are not very many scientific publications stating that gender-neutral education has a clear positive or negative effect - much research is still in its infancy. In Sweden, there are now some studies into gender-neutral preschools there, the initial results of which are positive. Children of different genders work and play more together there. Endendijk: “That is important, because in secondary school, and also when you start working, it is to your advantage if you can work with everyone.”
In addition, there are numerous studies that show the adverse consequences of education in which gender and differences are emphasized, for example in the language used by the teacher ('good morning boys and girls') or if cooperation mainly takes place between children of the same sex. “We know that encourages gender stereotypes and prejudice.” According to Endendijk, there are also studies that show that traditional, normative upbringing can lead to gender differences in aggression, depression and fears. For example, fathers with traditional views on gender use more physical discipline with sons than with daughters, which is then related to more aggression with boys than with girls. “And what you also see is that children react strongly disapprovingly to gender-atypical behavior.” Laughing when a boy is on ballet, for example.
This is partly due to the fact that the brains of children between the ages of six and ten are not yet very sensitive to nuance, Endendijk explains. “If they are not sent, they still think in boxes: that belongs to a boy, that to a girl.”
Children are inherently gender fluid. They explore, play and misinterpret those symbols. In our language there is a difference in the definitions 'masculine' and 'feminine', but it's just what you teach children
But those boxes are not invented by the children, they are culturally determined, says Margriet van Heesch, cultural scientist and expert in gender and queer studies at the University of Amsterdam. “Children are inherently gender fluid. They explore, play and misinterpret those symbols. In our language there is a difference in the definitions of 'masculine' and 'feminine', but it all depends on what you teach children.” For example, Van Heesch remembers that in her niece's kindergarten class there were two girls who wanted to be boys, one boy had a brother who was a sister, and one boy wanted to be a wild cat. “Went great. It was briefly discussed but not a big thing and if parents or teachers were mistaken, they were called to account by the children. "He's a boy." Kids are flexible.”
“It is the system that is so compelling,” says Hubbeek. “If you don't fit in, you're the outsider. But education is not only about whether you can count and write well, but also: who do you become as a person? Are you yourself?"
According to Hubeek, teaching more gender-neutral is an inclusion issue. “A teacher has to ask himself every now and then: is everyone welcome in my classroom? Or am I, subconsciously, putting someone in a box?” According to Endendijk, it is largely in the use of language. “Say 'good morning everyone' - so that every child feels addressed, as the NS does very nicely with 'dear passengers'.” She also advises: do not divide your class into boys and girls. Ask a boy to help with cleaning and don't just ask the boys to carry the heavy things, also point out the girls. And don't just talk about 'father and mother' or 'husband and wife', but also 'wife and wife', 'husband and husband', or - more generally - 'partners'.
Blocks and dolls
Endendijk sees 'very beautiful things happening'. Doll and construction corners in one, schools where playing and working together between boys and girls is encouraged, where it is quite normal that just as many girls participate in a game of football as boys. “But it also requires something from the teachers: they must also dare to enter into a conversation.”
For example, it was recently discussed in the teachers' lounge at Chris' school that a teacher in her class had asked if everyone wanted to stand with long hair. There was also a boy with relatively short hair. “He kept insisting 'I have long hair', and became sad when his classmates denied it. After a conversation, it turned out that this boy really wanted long hair, but his parents did not allow it.” Chris: “Then you know as a teacher that you are going to have a complicated conversation with the parents.”
The man is the norm in the textbooks, as is the straight couple
Publishers also have a role to play in this, says Van Heesch. “The man is the norm in the textbooks, as is the straight couple.” In 2019, scientists at Leiden University conducted research into representation in textbooks for first graders. It showed that the number of female characters in the books was "significantly lower" (41,4 percent) than the number of male characters. In more than 3 percent of the characters, it was possible to deduce from the context what someone's sexuality was: 'Heterosexuality was involved in all cases.' Also, no celebrities were found in the books 'who are generally known to be homosexual'. The researchers stated that they mainly saw implicit stereotyping. “It is precisely because of that implicit that not all teachers are aware of this,” says Van Heesch. “And there is already so much on their to-do lists. That is why it is important that this representation is already in the books.”
Van Heesch is strongly in favor of bringing the stories of people who fall outside that norm, the stories of queers, into education. "Let's hear all those different perspectives." Chris would like to see that more often too. “I'm 21, I've got an elephant skin when I encounter misunderstandings or bad questions. But children are still so searching, so much more vulnerable. I would like more attention to be paid to them, and above all: more space.”
