If your mother is also your colleague
Working at the same school as your mother or your child: what is that like? Two sons, a daughter and three mothers tell. “My mother sometimes has a problem with all the forms such as action plans and such. That is important information for me.”
Dirk van Daalen de Jel: “If someone - be it a student or a colleague - says something about 'your mother this or that' then I immediately say: At home she is my mother, but not here. Here she is my colleague Armida or Mrs Van Daalen de Jel. We are both strict about that.”
Armida van Daalen de Jel teaches music and CKV at the Scala College in Alphen aan de Rijn. Her son Dirk is a physical education teacher at the same school. They also play in a band together.
Armida: “My daughter Bregje is a dance teacher at another school, my two youngest daughters want to become a gym teacher and are going to ALO. That makes me super proud. They choose the profession that I love so much.”
Dirk still lives at home, but will soon be moving. Dirk: “Armida tends to talk a lot about school at home. Then I sometimes say: Wait a minute, I've worked all day, it's enough now."
Initially, they were both in the same junior team, Armida has now moved to the superstructure. “We each have our own stories.” Dirk: “Colleagues unconsciously compare and then name it. I organize the camp, they say: Armida did it this way or that. Then I think: yes, that's fine, other colleagues also did it differently, but that's not what you're talking about. It wasn't a problem at all, but I also think it's great that we now work in different locations.”
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Walhalla
The Scala College is a top sports talent school: “It's a mecca for a gym teacher here,” says Dirk. Armida: “Then I sometimes think, yes that sports is all great, but art and music are also important. I'll fight for that. For example, I would like to have an art day next year.”
Are they learning anything from each other? Armida: “Yes. How Dirk handles a class. I sometimes say: They all talk at the same time. Then Dirk says: But why are they talking, isn't it interesting, is it taking too long? And is it important that they are quiet? I will think about that.”
Dirk: “The training for gym teacher pays a lot of attention to didactics. You have to be able to keep order in a free situation in a large hall.” And what does he learn from Armida? “About how a school works, how the structure works. This is especially complicated as a starting teacher. I am mostly busy with my own classes, my team and my lo-tasks. Armida does all kinds of school-wide business. She knows where to be, how it all works. She is now on the participation council: I had no idea what was going on there.”
'We can say anything to each other'
Janet van den Acker: “I heard about this vacancy here at school and immediately thought: that could be something for Joris. He was still living at home at the time, but was on holiday in France. He had just been told that his contract in the hospitality industry was not being renewed. And I'll be honest, I also thought: he shouldn't sit at home for another year, he should do something, I'll throw a ball at him." Joris: “I read that vacancy and I thought: that's something for me. I like something technical.”
Janet has been working as a visual arts teacher at Udens College for almost 35 years. Joris Meijers is her son and has been working as a technical teaching assistant at the same school since 2016.
Wasn't Janet in doubt whether she wanted to work at the same school with her son? Absolutely not, she says. “The school is large, Joris and his brother used to go to school here themselves. Not in my class by the way, that's a rule here. And of course I did not interfere with that application, I only heard late that he had written.”
Ooh, is she your mother? She is so strict!
Because they have a different surname, it often takes a while for students to realize that they are mother and son, says Joris. “Then they say: Ooh, is she your mother? She is so strict!” And does he think Janet is strict? “No, I don't think so. But when they compare, there is of course a difference. I deal with students differently, speak their language, know their music and television programs, I know everything about social media. Students like that, that they can just talk to you about it.”
Trots
Janet: “If there is something wrong at school, I will ask him privately: how do you see that? I'll get something out of that. He has different glasses on. And I'm proud when I notice that students love him or when I hear colleagues say: Just go to Joris, he'll take care of it.” Joris: “We treat each other differently than we do with other colleagues: there is no distance, we can say anything to each other. Some colleagues say 'our mom' when they talk to me about Janet, I just like that.”
Janet: “When I see him as a toa busy in class, I think: he could also run those lessons, he really has it in him.” Joris: “I also think that I might have the teaching profession in me, but I've tried the course and it doesn't work. I really enjoy my job now.”
'I am hereditary'
Pauline: “I am inspired by my mother. She used to be very positive about her work and when I was allowed to go to her school, it all came across as nice and cozy. So I also wanted to be a teacher. I first did an academic pabo, later a master's degree in orthopedagogy." Marianne van Dooren: “We have many teachers in our family. That we want to convey something and children want to learn something, that's part of it.” Pauline: “I am hereditary. Or that nature of nurse is?”
Marianne is a teacher for group 3 at the Beneden Beekloop, one of the three utility schools in Geldrop. Her daughter Pauline worked as a remedial educationalist at the same foundation Het Nut until the summer. As of this school year, Pauline has a new job in her hometown of Utrecht.
It's nice to run into each other at work, say both Marianne and Pauline. There are agreements. They never talk to each other about colleagues, is one such example. “Our colleagues know and trust that too.” But the general state of affairs at school and the children are often a topic of conversation in their free time. Marianne: “Then I see my husband watching, oh no, there they go again.”
They give each other solicited and unsolicited advice, they both say. Pauline: “My mother sometimes has a problem with all the forms such as action plans and such. That's important information for me, I'll say that. I get honest feedback from my mother and I can be honest with her.” Marianne: “I am sometimes a bit short-sighted and Pauline then says: Think here or there, what does this child need, how can you help him or her. I learn from that.”
We both become better at our craft together
Pauline: “It also works the other way around. Whether you advise something for one child or if it is in a group with 25 others, it sometimes turns out differently. I hear that from my mother. We both get better at our craft together.” Marianne: “Pauline likes the theory and introduces innovations. I can quickly dismiss that as 'newfangled stuff', but she still plants a seed in my head.”
Brabantian
Colleagues call each other by their first name at the Het Nut foundation. Pauline: “I find that difficult, I never called her Marianne at home either. So often I say: Hi Mom.” Marianne: “For me, saying 'Pauline' is of course normal. Colleagues do say: 'You Pauline said this or that.' That's Brabant, I think."
So that stops now. For Pauline it is nice to work closer to home, but Marianne will miss it: a cup of coffee with Pauline. “The fact that I often saw a daughter who lives far away during the week was a gift.”
